


Discreet Packaging, My Ass

by spanked_dean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, BDSM Scene, Blow Jobs, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Claire Novak's Parents, Castiel is Claire Novak's Parent, Dom Castiel, M/M, Miscommunication, Postal Mix Ups, Sub Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 05:31:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16758913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spanked_dean/pseuds/spanked_dean
Summary: The postal service keeps getting Dean's packages mixed up.Based on this post.





	Discreet Packaging, My Ass

**Author's Note:**

> This had been in my drafts for 1.4 million years and I'm just now getting around to posting it. Anyways, shout out to Tumblr for giving me inspiration to create something that was supposed to be PWP but wound up with quite a bit of plot.

One day, after Dean’s special order had been placed, a few quick knocks on his door had him confused from where he was trying to sweep his kitchen. He opened his front door to Castiel’s disgruntled face and a suspicious shaped box being pushed into his face.

“I believe this is yours,” Castiel said with a small frown on his lips.

Dean tried to find words to soothe the situation but who was he kidding? His prude neighbor just found his dildo and was staring at him like he wanted to strangle Dean. Dean didn’t respond and instead just took the box from Castiel’s hands, a blush lighting up his cheeks.

“I don’t think my teenage daughter, Claire, believed me when I said it wasn’t mine,” Castiel continued. His face gave a subtle and knowing smile, “Have fun with that.”

Castiel walked off of Dean’s porch and back to his own house without even looking back at Dean who was left gaping and with a dildo shaped box in his hands. Dean realized that people could see him and quickly locked himself inside his house, throwing the dildo somewhere on his couch before he cranked up his sound system to block out his embarrassment.

≿———— ❈ ————≾

Dean wasn’t super tech savvy. He had gotten viruses before from bad porn sites and questionable links — ones that Charlie had to get rid of, to his dismay. He decided that he would keep things mainly old school from then on, sticking to porn mags and Playboy.

Dean’s niche of porn (kinky and gay) was never sold at the adult shop at the end of town because it was too ‘risqué’ for a conservative _porn_ shop. _What did that even mean?_

Dean had to order online from specialty websites that had costed an arm and a leg.

Months after the whole ‘Dildo Debacle’, as Dean had been calling it, and Dean had made sure that the postal service got his address correct every time. One embarrassment wasn’t going to stop Dean from his own gratification, only make him more cautions for future events.

Dean, as always, should have known better.

Castiel’s face wasn’t as frown-y this time when Dean had opened the door, but rather the man looked amused. He had a magazine rolled up and placed under his arm, and by the flash of red Dean could see on the cover, it was a special edition: ‘Hunks get Busted!’ with a picture of a pert ass with several red handprints on it. Dean had ordered it as an early birthday present to himself.

Castiel shifted on his feet. “I thought this was my annual bird watching magazine, so I decided to open it on the couch while my daughter was watching TV,” he began but then hesitated. He held the magazine out in Dean’s face. 

Dean swallowed. Was he supposed to say sorry? Castiel probably felt mortified and it truly felt like Dean’s fault. “Look, I can get a P.O. box or something so this doesn’t happen again --”

“It’s fine, I actually get an excuse to meet my neighbor, even through unusual means,” Castiel interrupted. He gave a small smile and wave before he began to make his way off of Dean’s porch. He stopped half way down Dean’s walk way and turned back towards Dean, “Oh, and Dean? You should try _Dirty Boyz_ , it’s much cheaper and much more discreet.” 

He continued walking the 100 feet back to his house and promptly out of Dean’s sight. 

≿———— ❈ ————≾

Castiel practically slammed the door behind him and groaned into his hands. Why did he admit something like that to a stranger? Even if he now knew some of the man’s more personal sexual secrets, he didn’t _owe_ the man anything. 

Claire looked up from where she was lounging on the couch texting. “I’m surprised you’re back so soon. Hot guy didn’t put out?”

“That’s crude, Claire, and no. Dean did not want to have sex with me because the postal service is inadequate,” Cas scowled. Dean was probably a closet case with a domination problem, not someone that Cas wanted to know. Cas simply needed to keep his interactions friendly and shallow. 

“You sure about that? You seemed to look like a lot of those guys in that magazine,” Claire pointed out with a quirked eyebrow. 

“Once again, Claire, I have never done porn,” he said while taking off his jacket. Well, his ex had filmed their ‘friendly interactions’ once or twice, but he had never released it to the internet. Was that still considered porn? Cas shook his head -- it didn’t matter anyways. 

Claire hummed in disbelief before glancing at her phone. “My friend says that Dean works in a garage near the edge of town. You could totally scope out some greasy guys.”

“Not my type.” _That was totally his type._

“All I’m saying is that I wouldn’t mind having another dad. Think about it, ok?” Claire locked her phone and made her way up the stairs to her bedroom on the second storey. 

Cas ‘hmfed’ and made his way to the kitchen to prepare lunch -- it was nearing 12 o'clock when he had opened the magazine after all. 

Castiel hated to admit it, but Claire was right. She would be leaving to some big college in just over a year and Castiel hadn’t dated anyone in close to 7 years. He would need someone there for him when Claire finally left the nest. He secretly knew he couldn’t be alone, but still couldn’t admit it to anyone but himself. 

≿———— ❈ ————≾

The complaints at the post office must have finally gone through, because Dean didn’t have any more neighbors knocking on his door. He went back to his normal routine, evading any excuse to go see Castiel. He knew that it was weird to pine after his nerdy neighbor, so Dean tried to ignore it. 

Dean decided to join Charlie more frequently in her Dungeons and Dragons nights instead of staying at home and moping over how lonely and single he was. 

Charlie kept sending him sad looks after everyone had ditched on game night but her, Dean and Gilda. Dean could tell that the couple was intentionally avoiding PDA so they didn’t hurt Dean’s feelings. So Dean played along -- to the game and the pity -- until he could go home and get drunk by himself. 

Dean stumbled over to his computer after walking home and immediately clicked on his bookmarked tabs. His eyes were blurred but he eventually found his documents and started typing. 

_**deavr cdastiel,** _

**_i nokw that wev'e been dancing around each other and i'd nreally like to get tto know yuo. i could dbe readinqg teh xsituation wrong, buat you seem like a brillinat, funny guy anod i'ad love it bif we met voer betteyr circumustansce._ **

**_i attached my cell phfnoe number below, so pwease tezxt me?_ **

**_\-- dean_ **

≿———— ❈ ————≾

Castiel woke up at 6:30 that morning after the house across from his decided that it was a good time to mow their lawn. He had already had his coffee and decided to check his mail. He breathed in the cold morning air as he opened his front door, stepping outside. He looked over and noticed that his mailbox was hanging open. With a frown, he made his way over and looked inside. There was a crumpled letter on top of the usual coupons and advertisements. He pulled it out, along with the other mail, and quickly brought it inside with him. 

Claire was just walking down the stairs when Cas had put the junk mail in the smoldering wood burning stove and shut its door. Her hair stuck up in several directions and she had a scowl on her face while she served herself some coffee. 

Castiel inspected the crumpled envelope, noticing the scrawled ‘Castiel’ on the front in block lettering. He turned it over and ripped opened the seal. A white piece of printer paper (and not even that good of a quality, he might add) was haphazardly folded up and shoved into the envelope. He pulled it open and took the paper out, throwing the envelope into the fire, before he unfolded it and read what was inside. 

Claire peeked over his shoulder and read the letter to herself. “Is he dyslexic or an alcoholic?” she snorted. 

“Possibly both,” Castiel said after he’d finished reading. “It is kind of sweet though.”

“How is a drunken note considered sweet?” Claire asked skeptically. 

“He must have been thinking about me when he got drunk,” Castiel said with a shrug. 

“Oh, yeah, ‘cause that’s a fairy tail ending,” Claire responded sarcastically, shaking her head.

“I think I’ll take him up on it,” Castiel announced. He threw the letter on the counter before he found his trench coat and threw it on, out the door before Claire could comment on his decision. The sidewalk was still frosty in the February chill and made crunching noises, but it didn’t bother Castiel. He made his way to the modest house on the corner and knocked on the wooden door. 

No one answered so Castiel tried to knock again. The wooden door swung open and a wild eyed Dean looked bewildered that Castiel was standing on his porch. “Hello, Dean.”

“H-Hey, Cas,” Dean stuttered, still clearly hungover. 

“I received the letter you sent me and I would like to take you out on a date,” Castiel said. 

“Really?” Dean said in disbelief. 

“Would Friday at 8 o'clock work?” Cas added. 

“Uh, yeah -- yes. That works. Tell me where and I can pick you up,” Dean said with a half smile. “Would you like to come inside?” 

“No, thank you. I have to get to work very soon and I shouldn’t delay myself any longer.”

“Uh, alright. I’ll see you Friday? And if you need anything, you know where I live.” 

“Goodbye, Dean.”

≿———— ❈ ————≾

_**2 Years and 7 Months Later** _

Cas woke up with a hazy stream of pleasure transmitting to his brain. He couldn’t feel Dean’s warmth beside him, but he could still hear breathing. Cas groaned, eyes still closed and brain still foggy. “M’Dean?” he murmured. He heard some shuffling and something pulled off of his --

_Oh. So that’s where Dean was._

“I couldn’t sleep because I’m so nervous, so I decided to bide my time,” Dean whispered. His head sank back down below the sheets and he started to mouth at the head of Cas’ cock. He sucked the head into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it, and started to speed up. 

Cas let a deep groan be pulled from his throat. He opened his eyes, desperate to see Dean in action. Cas spread his legs a little wider so Dean had more access, enjoying the tight heat around his cock. 

Soon enough, Cas came down Dean’s throat with a groan, letting his body fall lax. 

The sheets rumpled as Dean kissed his way up Cas’ body, causing Cas to let pleasured sighs fall from his mouth. Dean pulled the sheet off from his head and gave Cas a quick peck on the lips. Dean’s green eyes look up at Cas. “We should probably help Claire pack, huh?” 

“No. Let’s draw out the inevitable, I think.” Cas grabbed Dean’s torso and twisted his hips, effectively flipping them over. Cas nuzzled behind Dean’s neck, to the sensitive spot behind his ear, and gave him little kisses. Dean was already naked from their activities last night, so Cas took advantage by reaching down to stroke Dean’s half hard cock. 

Dean let out a groan of pleasure into Cas’ ear and thrust up into Cas’ hand. “Are we gonna scene? ‘Cause I’m not gonna last very long.” 

Cas shook his head. “Maybe tonight, but I just want to ravage you right now.” Cas shuffled down the bed until he was between Dean’s legs and spread them open. He brought his index finger to Dean’s hole and reveled in the way Dean whimpered. 

Dean was still slightly stretched so it didn’t take much lube and attention to get him ready for Cas’ cock. Cas lubed up his hard cock and slowly pushed into Dean’s entrance in one thrust. 

Dean gripped the sheets tighter and felt a moan being dragged out of his throat. “ _Fuck_ , Cas.”

Cas didn’t waste time and started to thrust into Dean’s heat, his cock almost pulling out before being forced all the way back in. 

Dean’s cheeks were colored red when Cas adjusted the angle and started to stroke Dean’s prostate in earnest. Soft little ‘ah’s were falling out of Dean’s mouth as he got closer and closer to climax. 

Soon enough, Dean’s load spill over his stomach and everything quieted down. Dean was hazy with pleasure and the slight soreness in his muscles. 

Cas slowly nibbled Dean’s neck, too tired to pull out of the man, and let out a quiet sigh. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m looking forward to Claire moving on with her life, but I know we’re going to be lonely.”

“Cas, sweetheart, you really can’t say this kind of stuff while your cock is still inside of me,” Dean huffed. “And don’t worry about that kind of stuff right now -- we can have Sam get us a puppy. We can figure this out one day at a time,” Dean continued. 

“You’re right. Let’s try to face the day, then.” 

They both tried to take their time getting cleaned up, changed and mentally well enough to leave the comfort of their room. 

Claire was waiting with her hands on her hips by the time they finally descended the stairs. “Took you two long enough. I swear I’ve graduated college twice in the time it took you to get out of bed,” she complained. Her blonde hair was characteristically falling into her face while the other half was done up in braids. Her leather jacket had cracks in it’s unoiled surface, but Claire didn’t seem to mind. The jacket was her teddy bear, something that she had grown up with. 

Cas pulled her into a hug. “My beautiful girl is growing up right before my eyes,” he cooed. 

Claire pulled her father in even tighter, only rolling her eyes when he pulled away. “I’m not that far away, dad, and it’s not like I’m suddenly 30. You can stop making goo-goo eyes.” 

Dean snorted. “I’m gonna have to deal with his teary ass while you’re away. Give me a break,” Dean said with a smile. 

“And Dean?” Claire continued, “I want you to visit me in your loud-ass Impala. People need to know that I have a hot dad.” 

And Dean wouldn’t admit that he teared up at being called _dad_ , but Hell, Dean was close to ugly crying at that point. 

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a kudo if you enjoyed it or simply exhaled out of your nose <3


End file.
